Releasing Expectations

Relocating as a family to another country is no easy feat. We have been very proud of ourselves for the ability we've had to keep our cool in stressful situations. The communication hasn't always been easy, but we've managed to stick together as a family unit whenever things in the process got tough.

There has been a lot of communication between us and Nick's dad, too. He has been so supportive of Nick's opportunity to live abroad. I can't say I would be that willing to have my son leave me for a year, but Nick's dad has been a real champ about it.

One of our concerns in taking Nick was the long time away from his dad, but once he was on board with it, (he even got his passport!), we figured the hardest part of relocating would be the visa application process.

It's been 12 days since our appointment with the consulate and after receiving new requirements on August 4th, we've had to take pause.

While the visa application documentation was received well, it seems we've run into a little snag. And, the most frustrating part of the new requirement is there isn't any documented process about it anywhere.

Even though Nick's dad showed up to the visa appointment with us on the 1st, we were told he will need to return with us on the 7th of September to sign a Power of Attorney. This document will give me the right to act on Nick's behalf while we are in Spain.

Doesn't sound too bad, right? I thought it reasonable. After all, it is understandable that something like this would be required with joint custody.

We starting working on the requirement quickly. We researched Power of Attorney documents, local attorneys and our translator. We were all geared up to create one, have it translated, and submit it to the consulate office.

But one phone call made obtaining that requirement halt. That Friday after our appointment we were contacted by a vacationing consulate notary who told us we would need to have a certified translator with us, in person, in order to sign the document.

What? Okay, do they have a notary/translator in Houston? Nope. And because they don't have a person in Houston, it means we need to find a translator from the certified translator list and fly them into Houston for a 10 minute document signing from places like New York, Chicago, and Florida.

I promptly got an email out to our translator. I was hopeful she could help. When she couldn't help us, I thought, okay, we'll find someone else.

And I have to say, I wasn't frustrated in the slightest until I had a couple of the translators question my understanding of the requirement.

They had not heard of this type of strict requirement before. While a couple of them had prepared POA documents for consulates in the past, they shared with me they were never required to come in person and didn't understand why they couldn't translate it and send it to the consulate.

So I started looking harder online. Did all the consulates perform this way? I couldn't find but one consulate office who listed a process for POA, it was in Washington, DC, and it didn't address our specific need.

I reached out to other consulates to see if they could help me and/or the translators understand the requirement process better. But I learned there is one consulate office per region and no other consulate could help me with a requirement outside of their jurisdiction.

This was disheartening because I realized that every region is different and no matter what another region might be willing to accept, we were going to have to find some way to fulfill our requirement.

Well, I can't say I was happy that week. I felt like what Nick looks like in this picture. Translator after translator replied to my email saying they were unable to assist us with our request. The hope drained from me. I saw months and months of effort go down the drain.

To help stop the emotional downturn, I decided to do the only thing I knew would help. I decided to release the desire to have a non-lucrative visa.

As I write this, I still don't know if one of the translators who replied positively to my request will be able to make the POA happen. She has been most helpful and asked me to give her some time to see if she could come up with a solution more reasonable then having her fly all the way from Florida to Houston.

But if she can't help us, there will be no other translator to reach out to and no other option from the consulate office. The woman in charge of the process is not budging on the requirement.

So in order to keep my wits about me, I decided to let go of the expectation of living in Spain for a year. I called a family meeting last Thursday. Nick, John and I discussed some alternate plans. We decided we will still head to Spain in time to check in to our AirBNB on the 15th of September.

After our 90 days expire, we will head over to England for 3 months. This will allow us to return to Spain in February of 2018 for another 3 months before we head out to...well, we don't know the next destination yet. Nick may be ready to come home by next Summer or not. We don't know what a year of travel will do to him. But he seems willing and able to be flexible with the new plan of going to Spain, then England, and back to Spain.

Being honest, though, the thought of not getting our visas is still not ideal. Yes, we could have saved a lot of money and time not "going for it", but we always knew there was a chance we wouldn't succeed. I won't ever regret applying for it.

Tomorrow starts another week and I can't say I know for sure what correspondence will come our way. I do know that I've been more at peace the past 6 days as I've released expectations and put it in the hands of the universal forces that know our intentions and the bigger picture.